tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60687372033272008872024-02-20T16:54:10.848+00:00Douglas Adams (Deceased) 'Handbook For The Dead - 72'A Douglas Adams Fanlog - both serious and fun! This blog is meant for Douglas Adams' fans everywhere, all ages, and open to contributions from readers, and discussions on Life, the Universe, and Everything Douglas Adams ...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06997814522003306509noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068737203327200887.post-43867576235683376452012-06-19T19:09:00.003+01:002012-06-19T19:09:31.212+01:00(Douglas Adams) - Chapter Three<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There was a whir, a bright light, then we were in a vast room with several people standing at consoles, and in the centre of the room was a huge pulsating sphere.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anathema smiled at DNA.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Any ideas?’ she asked.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Shit!’ he said ‘You’ve got a Belgium Nuclear-Ion Generator!’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘What’s that?’ I asked ‘If nobody minds if I ask a question?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘It’s a Heavy-Charged Particle Reactor that can generate enough power to propel a planet this size to ..’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Ninety-nine percent of light speed’ Betelgeuse grinned.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘But that’s not enough to get you to Earth and destroy it’ said DNA ‘It would take ...’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anathema laughed.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Very good. True, if that is, we intended to use it as a propulsion system at all’ she laughed again ‘Bob, meet my Little If, or LIF ...’ </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘This little baby doesn’t have to take us anywhere’ Betelgeuse said ‘It can do to planets, and suns, what it did to you’ he shrugged ‘With a few minor adjustments. And is why you’re here’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘I won’t do it!’ said DNA ‘An Improbability Drive is one thing, but the Improbability Factor is far too unstable for anything else. It’d be like looking for a box of dynamite in the dark with a lighted candle. I won’t do it!’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘You can, and you will’ said Anathema ‘It got you here, six hundred light years, in a fraction of a second, right? All I need from you is a little tweaking to get it to do the same to </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">an entire planet. I’m going to throw your fucking planet right into your miserable little sun, and you are going to help me do it, for the fucking mess you created, okay?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘No!’ </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I coughed, apologetically, if a cough can ever be construed as an apology.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Yes’ I said. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>DNA looked at me, the others stared at me.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘I can do it’ I said ‘It’s me, or, rather I, who is the scientist, not him. I am Hermann Gaswind-Phaart’ I looked at Anathema ‘German. A Physics Professor of the Third Reich, kidnapped by USA military intelligence after World War Two, and forced to work on Project Orion in the 1950’s’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Wow!’ said Anathema ‘You got your memory back, whoopee!’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘The idea then was a nuclear pulse rocket, a vehicle propelled by a series of controlled nuclear explosions’ I said ‘Some of the multiple blasts being absorbed by the spaceship, so adding an increment to its velocity. A test model was built, using deuterium and helium-3 pellets, detonated at a rate of 1,500 a second to give a smoother acceleration to a top speed of 80 per cent of light speed’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘He’s right’ Betelgeuse announced ‘Except it exploded in the Nevada Desert on take-off, killing all the observing scientists and officials. It was believed that Professor Hermann Gaswind-Phaart sabotaged the project, killing himself and everybody else, to avenge the death of his beloved Fuehrer’ he came to attention, and snapped his arm up. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Heil Hitler!’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I automatically did the same.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Gotcha!’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Betelgeuse grinned, and then nodded at Anathema ‘It’s him all right’ </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anathema took my face in her filthy hands, and kissed me, long and hard, again.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This time I didn’t protest. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘That’s my man! I could just eat you!’ Anathema said ‘Now get to it!’ </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘No!’ said DNA ‘Don’t do it!’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked at him.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘I know what I’m doing’ I said.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anathema laughed, so did Betelgeuse.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went to the Nuclear-Ion Generator, pressed a few panel-control buttons, studied the effect, and then I opened up a small section of the Generator.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Ahhhh …’ I said, then I started to pull out wires, exchange them with others, and talked, as I worked ‘A scientist, an artist, and an electrician, were about to be executed for murder. The scientist was the first to sit in the electric chair, but when the switch was thrown, nothing happened, and because the law stated if it didn’t work the first time the man could go free, he was released, and he told the guard he didn’t think much of the scientific principle on which the electric chair was built. The next in the chair was the artist. He said he thought it was aesthetically ugly, and when the switch was thrown, it didn’t work for him either, so he was freed. The electrician sat in the chair, looked at it, and said, if you swap the green wire for the red wire, the damn thing will work …’</span></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06997814522003306509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068737203327200887.post-42933415600346100362012-06-19T19:03:00.003+01:002012-06-19T19:04:45.236+01:00(Douglas Adams) - Chapter Two<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We walked along the purple beach together.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘You’re tall’ I said.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Yes, six feet five inches’ said DNA “And, yes, it was a huge problem at school, or, rather I was a huge problem at school, and, yes, I had to very quickly develop a defensive, and protective, sense of humour, which eventually helped me write The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide To the Galaxy, and the others, while I was still NYD, or Not Yet Dead, and, yes, I probably did have constricted arteries, and an erratic heartbeat, which lead to my untimely death, as they say, though I imagine most deaths are untimely, whatever that means, and writing the Handbook For The Dead - Don't Panic! and discovered, much to my very happy surprise, and suspicion, I could still write when I was supposed to be dead, and, of course, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the conversation with the dolphin, and the Really Big If, which is the reason we’re both here now’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Okay. All I said is you’re tall’ I said ‘Sorry if I offended you’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>DNA grinned.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘That’s all right. I usually only react like that when I’m blind drunk, or under tremendous stress. Anyway, you don’t need to tell tall, or fat, people they’re tall, or fat. They already know’ he paused, then ‘And don’t start on the nose …’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘It’s a fine nose’ I told him ‘But, when you swim in the sea on your back parallel to the beach, does everyone paddle frantically for the beach?’ I chuckled, then quickly changed the subject ‘What’s that over there?’ I asked, also because I'd genuinely seen something in the distance. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It looked, from a distance, like two people doing something very suspicious on the beach, without so much as a neatly folded towel to cover them up, and one of them, the girl, looked remarkably small, even from here. As we got closer, and the gasping sounds got louder and clearer, DNA suddenly grabbed me and put a hand over my eyes.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Um, you don’t want to see this’ he said.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pushed him away.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Come on. I’ve seen people having sex on the beach before’ </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>DNA looked at me.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Really?’ he asked ‘Where? No, never mind. Anyway, I didn’t mean that. Not what they’re doing, but who it is doing it’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were getting closer, and then the girl looked over and saw us, pushed her partner away, and sat up, with a grin on her dirty face, her long matted hair covering most of her immodesty.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Bob! How very nice of you to drop in’ the girl said, then nodded at her partner, who was just lying, not even trying to cover himself up, and looking at us with sardonic humour ‘I want you to meet my next ex-lover, Betelgeuse’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Anathema’ DNA shook his head ‘This is an unexpected pleasure’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘I bet!’ she told him, them smiled sweetly at me ‘And who’s this?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Um, he’s not quite sure’ said DNA ‘So, for now, we’re calling him Reader because he was reading my Handbook For The Dead - Don't Panic! when the Really Big If hit’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Oh, okay’ said the girl called Anathema, and apparently a little disappointed, and she took my face between her two filthy hands and kissed me hard and long.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Yuk!’ I said ‘Get off!’ then I broke away, and spat in disgust ‘If you don’t mind!’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Oh, come on! Don’t be so damned Earthly!’ said Anathema ‘Wait till you meet my friend, Euca Lyptus. Her breath can kill at a hundred paces! And her husband, Mentho Lyptus is even worse!’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Sorry if I offended you’ I said ‘I seem to be doing that a lot today’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Betelgeuse grinned at DNA.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘So you were the famous author, Douglas Noel Adams?’ he didn’t extend his hand “I guess you know all about me?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>DNA nodded.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Um, you’d be disappointed if I didn’t, right?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘You’re dead right’ Betelgeuse said ‘And talking about dead. Are we, or not?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘I don’t believe so’ said DNA ‘I have a heartbeat, a pulse, and respiration. I’m breathing. The same, but different’ he looked up at the sky ‘I’m guessing we’re about 600 light years from Earth, right?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anathema laughed.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘That’s my little scientist! And is the reason I brought you here. We need you to give our Little Improbability Factor prototype, or LIF, a little tweak or two! We’re on Betelgeuse Twelve, about five times the size of Earth and completely abandoned’ she smiled at me ‘To humans it was known as Shambhala, before the Ancients abandoned it, and they left behind a lot of weird stuff’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Hey!’ DNA stopped her ‘A Little Improbability Factor prototype. A Little If?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Sure’ she grinned ‘How do you think I brought you here? It was nothing to do with the stupid dolphin’ she nodded, a little disdainfully, at me ‘Though I didn’t expect a hitchhiker’ she grinned at DNA ‘But you know all about that. I needed a scientist to iron out </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">the bugs, and you’re just perfect because I want to punish you for creating all this in the first place. And what better way than getting you to help me destroy the earth?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘And that’s only for the test run’ Betelgeuse said, with more than a touch of pride ‘After that we’re going to change everything’ he looked up at the two suns ‘And talking about bugs, it’s almost lunch time’ he started heading to the beach ‘Besides you don’t want to be caught above ground in the afternoon, under two suns, right?’ </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We followed him, came to a cliff face, and then went into a cave.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘This is one of the entrances to Argattha, the underground world of Shambhala’ Anathema told us ‘There’s hundreds of thousand miles of underground tunnels, libraries stacked with manuscripts, but we’ve managed to adapt things a little’ she laughed ‘You’ll like it, not a lot ...’ she touched a place on the cave wall.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The cave began to fill with an eerie light.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘We don’t know how some of the technology works, but its been here for at least thirty thousand years’ said Anathema ‘Stand close together …’</span></div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06997814522003306509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068737203327200887.post-11771979733436951912012-06-13T12:12:00.000+01:002012-06-13T12:18:59.447+01:00(Douglas Adams) - Chapter One<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There was a strange whirring sound, then a sudden blinding flash, and a roar that seemed to go on and on.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘What just happened?’ I asked. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Um, three highly improbable events’ said the very tall man with a very big nose standing beside me ‘And it’s highly improbable that three highly improbable events would happen simultaneously, or all at once, anyway. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘We’ve just experienced the Really Big If, or the Really Big Improbability Factor, triggered by what the dolphin was about to say, which is highly improbable in itself, and we’ve probably been sucked into it’s core, or a White Hole, and we’re on a planet with two suns, with a very visible red star between them, on a beach with purple sand, a red sea, and a green sky’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Oh’ I said ‘What, exactly, is a White Hole?’ </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The very tall man, with a very big nose, looked at me oddly, and, I thought, accusingly, and then said ‘I thought you might at least ask why the sand is purple. A White Hole is the opposite of a Black Hole, which transcends space-time, and from which stream large quantities of energy and matter in their most chaotic forms.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’White Holes are cosmic gushers which power the galaxies and provide material for the construction of stars’ he nodded somewhere in the direction of the green sky.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘That very prominent red star in the middle of the two suns looks suspiciously like Betelgeuse, and we’re a lot closer to it than we were on Earth, and, as it’s likely to go supernova at any time, we could be in very serious trouble’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘And the Really Big If, or the Really Big Improbability Factor, is?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘The Really Big If, or the Really Big Improbability Factor, is a naturally occurring phenomenon. It can be harnessed to make a Really Big Improbability Drive to power really big spacecraft but, apart from that, it’s generally too unstable to use in any other way, and can occur anytime, triggered either by something really big or something insignificantly small. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Its two basic elements are the Really Bg Implausibility Effect and the Really Big Random Oscillation, and the reason it’s called the Really Big If, if you haven’t already guessed, and apart from being the first letters of the Really Big Improbability Factor, is the more colloquial, What If, whatever If might be, this were to happen, What Then?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘What Then?’ </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Usually, when you experience the Really Big Improbability Factor, it only lasts for a fraction of a second, then everything goes back to normal, as in a freak accident, or stroke of luck, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">good or bad, or a sudden shower of fish, but if you’re unlucky enough to be sucked up into it, like a cyclone, you’re trapped inside the core, or a White Hole, along with hundreds of thousands of stars and planets, and it has a reality all of its own. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Everything inside the Really Big Improbability Factor is diametrical, opposite to what you would normally expect, and chance and random events are normal’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Can we go home now?’ </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘We might one day escape, in a totally unexpected, and highly improbable, way, or we might not, but it’s highly improbable either way’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘We’re supposed to be dead. Are we still dead?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Um, highly improbable, as we seem to be talking, and breathing, and experiencing high levels of anxiety, but possible. Experiencing the Really Big If tells you something about being a RD, or Recently Dead. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘The only difference between a Not Yet Dead, or NYD, and Recently Dead, or RD, is their vibratory frequency. The RD, or Recently Dead, has a higher vibratory frequency, which the NYD, or the Not Yet dead, call death, which, maybe, explains why we got sucked in, and the dolphin didn’t. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘It’s lower vibratory frequency probably saved it, or maybe the Really Big Random Oscillation caught it, or it just got lucky, or it got hit by a sudden shower of fish’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Damn, we’re in a tight spot now’ I said.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Um, I think it might be best to find the nearest town or city, if there is one, and try and find out where we are exactly. Oh, I’m Bop Ad, by the way. Pleased to meet you!’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Douglas Noel Adams, DNA?’ I asked. ‘The Not So Recently Dead, Douglas Noel Adams?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Right! And you are?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘I don’t know. I mean, I’m not sure’ </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘It’s all right. Temporary, or partial, amnesia can be a side effect of the Really Big If, or a good excuse if you don’t know what to say. Let’s just call you Reader for now, as you were reading my Handbook For The Dead - Don't Panic! when the Really Big If hit. You can call me DNA, if you like, all right?”</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Okay, sure’. </span></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06997814522003306509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068737203327200887.post-61988304213611502552012-06-13T08:53:00.004+01:002012-06-13T11:32:39.397+01:00(Douglas Adams) - Prologue<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘I really loved your books ... when I was alive’ I told DNA ‘Though I’m sure i could have written them myself ... if you don’t mind me saying so’.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">DNA obviously did mind. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> His face went red as a beetroot, and his bodily temperature rose a few hundred degrees, as he towered over me, spluttered, and then boiled over, like a saucepan of water that had been left on a stove too long.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Why didn’t you then?’ he snapped.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Hey ...’ I said, trying to turn down the intense heat emanating from him, ‘I only meant ...’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘I know exactly what you meant’ said DNA, and then, with an almost superhuman effort, he managed to get hold of himself, and said ‘It’s a rare mind that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘The cry, “I could have thought of that if …”, is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is they didn’t, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too, and being offended, because nobody believes them, seems to be what they do instead. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘I don’t care that a million or six people say, “I could have thought up ...”, whatever I wrote while I was still in my body, as they say, but what irks me more than a whiff of an unexpected fart is I’m still getting it all here. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Some folk never change, or move on, and refuse to give up the ghost, as they say, for a chance at fame, so let them all join in the chorus, ”I could have done that if …”, for all I care’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Ok ... Ok’ I said ‘I didn’t mean to offend you. But you must have had a lot of fun writing all that stuff, right?’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">DNA was calmer.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘The more I think about our species the more I think we just do stuff and make up explanations later when asked’ he said ‘I would rather read than write. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘To be honest I’d rather hang upside down in a bucket than write so when it was suggested some ten years after I toppled off a bench in a gym at Santa Barbara, USA, and became Recently Dead, I write something, but this time for the Newly Arrived Recently Dead, and the Not Yet Dead, who felt the need to prepare, I wasn’t overly excited, but thought well, why not, and I guess I’ve got to do something to while away the otherwise endless tedium of eternity’.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘So, how, exactly, did it happen?’ I said ‘I mean ...’ </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Well, I was feeling good when I went to the gym to work out, and remember walking the treadmill, thinking about a draft of the screenplay of Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy I’d just finished, and then did a few aerobics. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Peter, my trainer, had checked me out. Everything normal, heart rate around 130, pulse fine, breathing was good. I did a few stomach crunches, then closed my eyes, fell asleep, and rolled off the bench, clutching my towel – and that was it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Don’t panic. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Simple, and easy, as that, which says something, considering I wasn’t ill, and was just 49<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>years old, about to see my book on the silver screen, had everything finally going for me, and then pop, I’m gone. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. Before what happened to me, happened, </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘I was already thinking of having my entire body surgically removed, but it seems to me that what happened was just as effective. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘I hadn’t gone the way I’d expected to go, or where I thought I’d be, but, well, here I am, and, finding myself dead, then not dead, and feeling the condition needed some explanation, I </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">agreed, as you do when you know nothing about something, to write a book about it, and not just a book, but something to help those just a little more surprised than I was about it., and never having really been seriously into religion, though I have a little history connected with it, I concluded I was a little more objective, about being dead, or not dead, than most’ he paused, as if waiting for a comment, but with nothing forthcoming, from me, he went on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘My physical body was cremated, along with my towel, at 7.30 pm, British Standard Time, on May 16th, 2001, in Santa Barbara, CA, USA, and lots of folk who liked what I wrote, or said they did, had a round of drinks around that time. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘It’s funny the things you remember most, and even funnier what you forget, when you’re dead. Like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in a rhino suit, but at six feet five inches tall, my legs stuck out absurdly from the bottom, so that I looked more like a giant prawn tempura than a rhinoceros, and, inside, the heat and the stench of stale sweat and old dettol was almost overpowering, until I got into the swing of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘And then the time I took the family on vacation to Barbados in early 1999. On the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>second<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>night<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>villa<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>we<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>were<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>renting<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>was<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>burgled, and they came into our bedroom while we were all asleep. Folk told us later if we’d woken up we’d probably have been shot.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘I remember the time I appeared on stage with Pink Floyd. It was my forty-two birthday present from Dave Gilmour. I played the easy lead guitar bit on Brain Damage, and then rhythm on Eclipse, and used a left-handed Bahama Green Jerry Jones Neptune, a copy of a </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Danelectro.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">’Not bad for a guy who used to work as a chicken shit cleaner, and as a body guard for an Arab family, and in a mental hospital … ‘</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Ok … Ok’ I said ‘I get it. You prefer talking to writing. But what do you read?’</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘I loved the Wodehouse stories about golf’ he said ‘My one experience of it was many, many years ago, when a friend of mine offered to introduce me to the sport, and we played a round at a local golf course. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘He wasn’t a great player, but he was a goodish player, and he took it very seriously. The inevitable happened, and he found himself playing rather badly, and fluffing easy shots, as a result of which he became rather tense and morose. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘I, as complete beginners often do, hit one or two lucky shots, and, by the end of the game, my friend was such a clenched knot of self hatred that the whole thing was unbearable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought I’d give it a rest for twenty or thirty years to wait for the memories of that hideous day to wear off ... ‘ </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘I liked the movie …’ I said. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">DNA snorted.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Making a film is like trying to grill a steak by having a series of people come into the room and breathe on it’ he said ‘Film makers go at the speed of molten glass moving through thick syrup,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and they have only two speeds - full stop and reverse. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘It just wasn’t happening because nobody was really seriously interested enough to come up with the money. It needed eighty to eighty five million dollars, and the best they would offer was forty-five million dollars. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Ok, if what you wanted was a cheesy film. The fundamental problem, I heard, was that Hitchhikers was too picaresque for a traditional movie structure, and, anyway, where was the market for comic SF? </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘It had hardly ever been done before, and never on this kind of budget. Then, bang! They make Men In Black, and we sold Hitchhikers for Jay Roach to direct, who was just finishing Austin Powers, International Man Of mystery, and Jay wanted Hitchhikers to be his next film. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘I was sitting in a little bar in a hotel with my agent Ed Victor when the whole thing got blown away like a deckchair on a windy day, and I was devastated. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Disney wanted to bring it in at forty-five million dollars, but Jay and I insisted it was an eighty to eighty five million dollar movie because that was the way we’d written it and we’d have to do some drastic surgery to make it a forty five million dollar movie. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Ed said ‘You’re crazy. Grab it. It’s still a forty five million dollar movie’ and I said ‘No, Ed, it would be cheesy’ and Ed said ‘Hitchhikers is cheesy – that’s its charm. It’s not Star Wars. You keep on wanting to make Star Wars with jokes. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘But it’s not Star Wars. It can be cheesy’ he said.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Well, fuck you too … but he was right, I was wrong. Nevertheless, I was hurt. I’d transplanted my entire family to Santa Barbara to follow a dream, and I was fucking devastated. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Then, on the morning of May 11, 2001, feeling good – I died. Isn’t life a bummer?</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘Woody Allen once said that some find immortality through their work, but he preferred to get it by not dying. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘I should have thought of that …’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06997814522003306509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068737203327200887.post-81118277788695878212012-06-13T08:44:00.000+01:002012-06-13T11:36:42.083+01:00(Douglas Adams) - 42<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><em>The short explanation:</em></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">42 (forty-two) is the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_number" title="Natural number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">natural number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> immediately following </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/41_(number)" title="41 (number)"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">41</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> and directly preceding </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/43_(number)" title="43 (number)"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">43</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><em>The long version:</em> </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For Mathematicians.</span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The 3 × 3 × 3 magic cube with rows adding up to 42.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Given 27 same-size cubes whose nominal values progress from 1 to 27, a 3×3×3 </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_cube" title="Magic cube"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">magic cube</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> can be constructed such that every row, column, and corridor, and every diagonal passing through the center, is composed of 3 cubes whose sum of values is 42.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Forty-two is a </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pronic_number" title="Pronic number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">pronic number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> and an </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abundant_number" title="Abundant number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">abundant number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">; its </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prime_factorization" title="Prime factorization"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">prime factorization</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> 2 · 3 · 7 makes it the second </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sphenic_number" title="Sphenic number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">sphenic number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> and also the second of the form { 2 · 3 · r }. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As with all sphenic numbers of this form, the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aliquot_sum" title="Aliquot sum"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">aliquot</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> sum is </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abundant_number" title="Abundant number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">abundant</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> by 12. 42 is also the second sphenic number to be bracketed by </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twin_prime" title="Twin prime"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">twin primes</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">; </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/30_(number)" title="30 (number)"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">30</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> is also a pronic number and also </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">rests between two primes. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">42 has a 14 member </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aliquot_sequence" title="Aliquot sequence"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">aliquot sequence</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> 42, 54, 66, 78, 90, 144, 259, 45, 33, 15, 9, 4, 3, 1, 0 and is itself part of the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aliquot_sequence" title="Aliquot sequence"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">aliquot sequence</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> commencing with the first sphenic number </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/30_(number)" title="30 (number)"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">30</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">42 is the 10th member of the 3-aliquot tree.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">42 is the product of the first three terms of </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sylvester%27s_sequence" title="Sylvester's sequence"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Sylvester's sequence</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">; like the first five such numbers it is also a </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primary_pseudoperfect_number" title="Primary pseudoperfect number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">primary pseudo-perfect number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It is a </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catalan_number" title="Catalan number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Catalan number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Consequently; 42 is the number of </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noncrossing_partition" title="Noncrossing partition"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">non-crossing partitions</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> of a set of five elements, the number of triangulations of a </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heptagon" title="Heptagon"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">heptagon</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, the number of rooted ordered binary </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tree_(graph_theory)" title="Tree (graph theory)"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">trees</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> with six leaves, the number of ways in which five pairs of nested parentheses can be arranged.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It is a </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Partition_number" title="Partition number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">partition number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> - the number of different ways 10 can be represented as the sum of natural numbers.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It is the reciprocal of the sixth </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernoulli_number" title="Bernoulli number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Bernoulli number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It is conjectured to be the scaling factor in the leading order term of the "sixth </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moment_(mathematics)" title="Moment (mathematics)"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">moment</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> of the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernhard_Riemann" title="Bernhard Riemann"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Riemann</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riemann_zeta_function" title="Riemann zeta function"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">zeta function</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">". </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It is the third </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygonal_number" title="Polygonal number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">pentadecagonal number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. It is a </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meander_(mathematics)" title="Meander (mathematics)"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">meandric number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> and an </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meander_(mathematics)#Open_meandric_numbers" title="Meander (mathematics)"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">open meandric number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">42 is a </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St%C3%B8rmer_number" title="Størmer number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Størmer number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">42 is a perfect score on the USA Math Olympiad.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In base 10, this number is a </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harshad_number" title="Harshad number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Harshad number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> and a </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self_number" title="Self number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">self number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, while it is a </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repdigit" title="Repdigit"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">repdigit</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> in base 4 (as 222).</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">42 is the only known value that is the number of sets of four distinct positive integers a,b,c,d, each less than the value itself, such that ab-cd, ac-bd, and ad-bc are each multiples of the value. Whether there are other values remains an open question. </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For Scientists.</span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">42 is the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atomic_number" title="Atomic number"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">atomic number</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> of </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Molybdenum" title="Molybdenum"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">molybdenum</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The angle in degrees for which a </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow#Scientific_explanation" title="Rainbow"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">rainbow</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> appears or the critical angle is 42.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In 1966, mathematician </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Paul_Cooper_(mathematician)&action=edit&redlink=1" title="Paul Cooper (mathematician) (page does not exist)"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Paul Cooper</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> theorized that the fastest, most efficient way to travel across continents would be to bore a straight hollow tube directly through the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth" title="Earth"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Earth</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, connecting a set of </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antipodes" title="Antipodes"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">antipodes</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, evacuate it (remove the air), and then just fall through. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The first half of the journey consists of free-fall acceleration, while the second half consists of an exactly equal deceleration. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The time for such a journey works out to be 42 minutes. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Remarkably, even if the tube does not pass through the exact center of the Earth, the time for a journey powered entirely by gravity (also known as </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravity_train" title="Gravity train"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Gravity train</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">) always works out to be 42 minutes, as long as the tube remains friction-free, as while gravity's force would be lessened, so would the distance traveled at an equal rate. </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For The Religious</span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In Japanese culture, the number 42 is considered unlucky because the numerals when pronounced separately — "shi ni" (four two) — sound like the phrase, "unto death".</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There are 42 principles of </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ma%27at" title="Ma'at"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Ma'at</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, the Ancient Egyptian personification of physical and moral law, order, and truth. In the judgement scene described in the Egyptian and the Book of the Coming/Going Forth by Day (the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_the_Dead" title="Book of the Dead"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Book of the Dead</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> (which evolved from the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coffin_Texts" title="Coffin Texts"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Coffin Texts</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> and the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyramid_Texts" title="Pyramid Texts"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Pyramid Texts</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">)). </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There are 42 gods and goddesses of Egypt, personifying the principles of </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ma%27at" title="Ma'at"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Ma'at</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, who ask questions of the departed, while </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thoth" title="Thoth"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Thoth</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> records the answers, and the deceased's heart is weighed against the feather of Truth (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ma%27at" title="Ma'at"><span style="color: blue;">Ma'at</span></a>). These 42 correspond to the 42 </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nome_(Egypt)" title="Nome (Egypt)"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Nomes</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> of Egypt. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If the departed successfully answers all 42, s/he becomes an </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osiris" title="Osiris"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Osiris</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">42 is the number with which God creates the Universe in </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kabbalah" title="Kabbalah"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Kabbalistic tradition</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In Kabbalah, the most significant name is that of the En Sof (also known as "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ein_Sof" title="Ein Sof"><span style="color: blue;">Ein Sof</span></a>", "Infinite" or "Endless"), who is above the Sefirot (sometimes spelled "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sephirot" title="Sephirot"><span style="color: blue;">Sephirot</span></a>"). </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Forty-Two-Lettered Name contains four combined names which are spelled in Hebrew letters (spelled in letters = 42 letters), which is the name of Azilut (or "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atziluth" title="Atziluth"><span style="color: blue;">Atziluth</span></a>" "Emanation"). </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">While there are obvious links between the Forty-Two Lettered Name of the Babylonian Talmud and the Kabbalah's Forty-Two Lettered Name, they are probably not identical because of the Kabbalah's emphasis on numbers. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Kabbalah also contains a Forty-Five Lettered Name and a Seventy-Two Lettered Name.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The number 42 appears in various contexts in </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity" title="Christianity"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Christianity</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. There are 42 generations (names) in the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gospel_of_Matthew" title="Gospel of Matthew"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Gospel of Matthew</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">'s version of the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genealogy_of_Jesus" title="Genealogy of Jesus"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Genealogy of Jesus</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It is prophesied that for 42 months the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antichrist" title="Antichrist"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Beast</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> will hold dominion over the Earth (</span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Revelation" title="Book of Revelation"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Revelation</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> 13:5); 42 men of Beth-azmaveth were counted in the </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Census" title="Census"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">census</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> of men of </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Israel" title="Israel"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Israel</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> upon return from exile (</span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Ezra" title="Book of Ezra"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Ezra</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> 2:24).</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God" title="God"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">God</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> sent bears to maul 42 of the teenage boys who mocked </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisha" title="Elisha"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Elisha</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> for his baldness (</span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Books_of_Kings" title="Books of Kings"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">2 Kings</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> 2:23).</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judaism" title="Judaism"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Judaism</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, the number (in the Babylonian Talmud, compiled 375 AD to 499 AD) of the "Forty-Two Lettered Name" ascribed to God. Rab (or Rabhs), a 3rd century source in the Talmud stated "The Forty-Two Lettered Name is entrusted only to him who is pious, meek, middle-aged, free from bad temper, sober, and not insistent on his rights". </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maimonides" title="Maimonides"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Maimonides</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> felt that the original Talmudic Forty-Two Lettered Name was perhaps composed of several combined divine names [Maimonides "Moreh"]. The apparently unpronounceable </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetragrammaton" title="Tetragrammaton"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Tetragrammaton</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> provides the backdrop from the Twelve-Lettered Name and the Forty-Two Lettered Name of the Talmud. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gutenberg_Bible" title="Gutenberg Bible"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Gutenberg Bible</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> is also known as the "42-line Bible", as the book contained 42 lines per page.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thirty-Nine_Articles#Forty-Two_Articles_.281552.29" title="Thirty-Nine Articles"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Forty-Two Articles (1552)</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, largely the work of </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Cranmer" title="Thomas Cranmer"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Thomas Cranmer</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, were intended to summarise Anglican doctrine, as it now existed under the reign of </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_VI" title="Edward VI"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Edward VI</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For ‘Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy’ Fans</span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The number 42 is, in The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy, ‘The answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything’, calculated by an enormous supercomputer </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">over a period of 7.5 million years. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Unfortunately no one knows what the question is. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thus, to calculate the Ultimate Question, a special computer the size of a small planet and using organic components was created and named "Earth".<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The fourth book in the series, the novel </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/So_Long,_and_Thanks_for_All_the_Fish" title="So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, contains 42 chapters. According to the novel </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mostly_Harmless" title="Mostly Harmless"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Mostly Harmless</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, 42 is the street address of </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stavromula_Beta" title="Stavromula Beta"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Stavromula Beta</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Douglas Adams </span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘It’s all very simple, really. 42 was a joke. It had to be a number, an ordinary, smallish number, and I chose that one. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘</span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binary_numeral_system" title="Binary numeral system"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Binary</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> representations, </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Base_13" title="Base 13"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">base thirteen</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tibetan_people#Religion" title="Tibetan people"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">Tibetan monks</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, are all complete nonsense. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">‘I sat at my desk, stared into the garden and thought '42 will do', and I typed it out. End of story’.</span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">(The Editors)</span></i></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06997814522003306509noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068737203327200887.post-5644794989493915212012-06-13T08:26:00.002+01:002012-06-13T11:36:18.651+01:00(Douglas Adams) - Introduction - 'Handbook For The Dead- 72'<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;">
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As a NARD, a Newly Arrived Recently Dead, what they do is give you the first (and heavily expurgated!) edition of ‘Handbook For The Dead – Don’t Panic!’ </span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, you naturally start at Chapter One, as most of us do with a new book.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As it happens, it’s smarter not to – you can just pick any chapter, at random (and not necessarily the first edition - as there are several!). And, usually, you are not told about the other editions – which, admittedly, are more for the Long Time Dead, or LTD - but your case office worker, or COW, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>doesn’t tell you all this, and, usually, it isn’t mentioned at all, and of course, all this is expurgated from the first (and heavily expurgated!) edition.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The main reason, so they say, is your case office worker (COW) doesn’t want to over-excite you – or that’s the answer you get, when you discover, and ask why, you were not given, at least, the second (and unexpurgated!) edition - if not the third, or fourth, or fifth - from the start! </span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The truth is, they want to keep you away from number 72 as long as possible.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">72 is considered, by the afterlife (or afterdeath) bureaucrats far too dangerous for NARDS, the Newly Arrived Recently Dead, and even for NYD, the Not Yet Dead, so it was expurgated </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">from the first edition, as is other material considered ‘unsafe’ by the aforementioned afterlife (or afterdeath) bureaucrats.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But you have to appreciate the significance of 42 before 72 is of any use to you …</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06997814522003306509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6068737203327200887.post-87748717582058001082012-06-13T07:59:00.001+01:002012-06-13T11:35:54.944+01:00(Douglas Adams) - 'He hoped and prayed ...'<br />
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'He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife' Douglas Adams wrote.<br />
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But, what if there is - What If - What Then?<br />
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This is a fun blog - for fans of Douglas Adams, by a fan (who knew Douglas from the mid -70's until the early 80's), and will rely on contributions from 'Bop Ad' fans.<br />
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The first, is a fun 'channelled' book 'Handbook For The Dead - 72' (just published on Amazon Kindle Books) to start it off.<br />
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Please send in your comments, ideas, contributions - anything at all!<br />
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Douglas Adams was not at all religious - did not believe in an 'afterlife' - but we can have fun with the idea!<br />
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Be irreverant, if you like, send us jokes, serious stuff - tell us what you think!<br />
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Look forward to chatting with you!<br />
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Jack<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06997814522003306509noreply@blogger.com0